living life. now. no matter what your weight is.

Living life now. Funny faces and al.

It’s Sunday morning here.  Not too early – just before 7am.  I’ve been awake for hours, fighting off horrible dreams.  Not dreams about monsters or serial killers.  Instead, thoughts, dreams and feelings that we (probably) all experience almost every single day.  I was dreaming about being left out of the cool group.  If I was 10 years younger, I’d be making a joke about FOMO.

Our social brain – the desire to fit in and be liked – creates very strong emotions in all of our brains.  You know that feeling when you walk into a room and you don’t know anyone and you just want to flee.  Social brain.  When your friends have a group email going and you aren’t on the list.  Social brain.  When the ‘cool kids’ ask you if you want to have lunch with them.  Social brain.

My dream last night – and I won’t go into detail because there is nothing more boring than hearing about someone else’s dream! – was about my high school friends getting together and although I was there, I wasn’t part of the group.  As I drifted in and out of my sleep this morning, my brain was trying to make the dream go my way.  So that I was included in the group.

Now that it’s been a few hours and I’ve had a few cups of coffee, the strong emotions of the dream are fading.  All I’m left with is the memory.  And now, on reflection, I realise that I don’t want my life to pass me by and that all I have are faded memories of a life that I didn’t enjoy.

Yes, I am still overweight.  That doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy and participate in life now.  It means stepping out of my comfort zone. Doing things that I don’t want to.

That means:

  • Have my photo taken – with the kids and my husband – even though I look like a colony of bees has attacked me, making me swell up all over (ha!)
  • Saying yes to social events
  • That means that I will need to buy some new clothes.  That fit me at this weight.  Rather than holding onto the old rags that I have because I don’t want to buy anything larger than a size 12 (okay, a size 10).
  • Being active with the kids.  Yesterday I jumped on the trampoline with them.  I was horrified by how quickly I became puffed but it was nice to play with the kids.

What are some things that you could do to live your life now.  At the weight you are now.

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