I’m sick today. I have a cold and for the first time, in a long time, I’m at home. Alone. Completely by myself.
It’s so quiet. I’m sitting on the couch by the windows with a view outside. It’s a warm, sunny day and from my seat I can see the tops of the eucalyptus trees that stretch across the sky. There’s a breeze from the overhead fan and occasionally I can hear a car drive past or the fridge compressor switch on.
There’s no children chatting, playing or arguing in the background. No call of “Mum, I’m hungry” or “what’s for dinner”.
Yet, my mind is still active. Too active. Last night I woke up at 2.22am and I struggled to fall back into a restful sleep. I fell asleep but it felt like my mind could not, would not quit. It was stuck in a loop and couldn’t break free. I ended up taking another cold / flu night tablet so that I could a) breath through my nose and b) get some sleep.
And now today, with all of this quiet, I thought it would be a good time to write something, to create a story on a page. But I felt such resistance to do this. My mind was / is travelling too quickly for reflection and thoughts.
Too busy thinking ahead; of how I want the future to look; of how I want to look. Instead of just stopping and thinking about the right now.
It’s only when my mind stops being so busy and future focused that the ideas truly come alive.
Mindfulness
I did a course at work a few years ago on mindfulness and what I’ve found hardest to do is to get quiet in my head. How do you make that happen. Then I remembered what we were taught.
Accept that your mind will not be completely clear.
Recognise the thought and let it pass through you.
Connect to one of your five senses.
On this last point, you can focus on feeling the floor or the chair that you are sitting in, listen to the noises outside or the sound of your breathing. This helps to quiet the mind. And you can do it even when you aren’t surrounded by complete silence. It’s about being present, right here, right now. I want to do this. Because the joy is in the moment. Not in thinking about it and how it might look or feel. That’s a hollow joy. It’s fake. It doesn’t exist right now. Sure, take the time to dream and plan about the future. But live most of your life in the present.
This will quiet your mind.
And you will see things more clearly. Vibrant. Rich colours. Your mind will seek the laughter of your children. The smile and look of your partner. It will be.
